Dating 101: Fill Awkward Silences With These 5 Questions
The wonderful world of dating is packed with all kinds of interesting people and memorable experiences, but why is it that most people are TERRIBLE at first dates? It’s as though we allow ourselves to get overwhelmed by the pressure and we become these mediocre overly-censored versions of ourselves. That said, with just a tiny amount of preparation you may never have to run out of things to talk about on a date ever again.
When you are out on a date with someone, especially for the first time, it is a good idea to avoid one-dimensional questions that are too factual. Questions like “What do you do for work?”, “Where are you from?”, “Where do you live?”, etc will not tell you much about someone’s true character.
Factual questions will make the other party feel like they are being interrogated by you and honestly, none of these questions are good enough to keep the conversation going. It is better to ask multidimensional questions with which you can take the conversation to so many other places and end up learning more valuable information about someone’s true personality.
Question 1 | Find Out About Their Travel Experiences
What is your most favorite place in the world?
This is a good conversation starter. As a multidimensional question, it will help you and your date to talk about traveling, hobbies, and you will learn some of the things in which they are interested. For example, do they like sightseeing? Or maybe they like going to museums. Maybe they are into physical activities and they like a hike in the mountains, canoeing or maybe diving.
You will be able to learn a lot more about them and their interests by asking this question. Also, it is a safe question that won’t make you or them feel uncomfortable. It is perfectly OK for the first date and it shows them that you are interested in knowing more about them.
Question 2 | Find Out About Their Interests
What is one thing you’ve always wanted to try?
This could be a follow up to the first question to keep the conversation going. People always like to talk about their dreams and desires. But most of us don’t even talk about our dreams or things that we would like to do before we die, like a bucket list. Life always gets in the way or we feel like people we interact with are not interested enough in our thoughts and dreams.
When you ask a question like this to your date, you can be certain that they will be happy that you did. This can take the conversation in places that might surprise you. You might find out that you have much more in common than you thought. Or maybe this person can encourage you to realize your dreams somehow.
Illustrations courtesy of Shutterstock.
This article was originally published on https://nevertherightword.com. If this article appears on any other site other than https://nevertherightword.com without clear referencing it is a violation of the copyright owned by https://nevertherightword.com.
Question 3 | Find Out About Their Loyalty
How would your friends describe you? How long have you known them?
A clever question to find out more about someone’s loyalty and the way they interact with others around them. Think about how long you have known your best friend. 20 years? 10 years? Just a few months? This can bring up more follow up questions like where did they meet? Were they always best friends? Did they always get along? What makes them their best friend?
Talking about these things will tell you a lot about what your date values the most in a friend. What are some of the things that are important to them in a friendship? What are some things they can’t tolerate about others?
Question 4 | Find Out About Their Passions and Their Motivation Level
What are you most passionate about?
There are a few different types of answers you might get for this question. It is a smart way to find out if someone is a workaholic if they truly have a passion, or if they are still trying to figure things out. If your date’s passion is related to their work, it might be a sign that they might not always have time for personal relationships.
It depends on what you are looking for in a date, of course. It might bother some people; it might be ok for others. If they already have a passion and they are following it, it might show that they have a good work-life balance and they are not afraid of following their dreams. They set aside quality time for themselves.
People who set aside quality time for themselves will be better at giving you the quality time you deserve. These people usually have a healthy level of self-esteem. But if they are still trying to figure out what their passion in life is, there might be several reasons for that.
Perhaps they are still young, or maybe they didn’t have enough opportunity to think about it. Maybe there are too many things on their mind and they don’t know where to begin.
Question 5 | Find Out if They Like Learning and Discovering New Things
What is one thing you wish you knew or understood more about?
A good question to ask someone to find out more about what interests them. Maybe the answer will be something you are very passionate about as well and you can share your knowledge with them. Or maybe it will be something you also wish you knew more about and this can allow you to organize more activities together.
When people have common interests, they feed each other and learning from one another brings them closer. Sharing common interests allows us to push our limits and explore new horizons.
Try to avoid asking negative questions like the ones that related to death, loss, negative emotions, and feelings like jealousy, what makes them angry, their regrets, the unhappiest moments of their lives. The list goes on and on. You don’t want to ask questions about their last relationship either, like why it ended, if they still talk to their ex. And it should be a red flag for you if your date is talking negatively about their ex. Avoid personal questions about their income, how many people did they date, if they consider marriage, and having kids. They are intimidating and no-one wants to get into a serious conversation on a first date.
At Never the Right Word, our aim is to give you practical examples of how to handle life’s difficult conversations. If you have an awkward situation that you’d like example templates for, request a topic here.
Lastly, if you found this content helpful or want to share your own examples, let us know in the comments. We’d also be delighted if you shared this article and joined us on social media too!
Never the Right Word
Hi there! I’m Amy, and I’m the person behind Never the Right Word. I’m a designer-by-day who’s fascinated by human psychology; you’ll find me learning about what makes others tick through all types of media and good old-fashioned conversation.
In 2019 Never the Right Word was born to fill the gap of ‘how-to’ websites with copy and paste examples showing you EXACTLY what you need to say to steer difficult conversations into positive outcomes.
Relevant Books We Recommend...
In The Science of Happily Ever After: What Really Matters in the Quest for Enduring Love by acclaimed relationship psychologist Dr. Ty Tashiro the science behind how to choose a great mate to find enduring love is explored. Dr. Ty Tashiro's research pinpoints why our decision-making abilities seem to fail when it comes to choosing the right partner and how we can improve our decision-making skills. Dr. Tashiro has discovered that if you want a lifetime of happiness it all comes down to how you choose a partner in the first place- an insightful read for many. Get your copy of The Science of Happily Ever After by CLICKING HERE.
If you struggle with meeting new people, are shy, or generally want to improve your conversational skills we think you'll get a lot from this book. In Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People author and human behavior investigator, Vanessa Van Edwards shares a wealth of behavior hacks to help you get the most out of your interactions. You'll learn a strategy for navigating any social situation, unique tricks to break away from monotonous small talk, how to predict people's emotions through speed-reading people's expressions, and much more. Once you understand the laws of human behavior you can be confident that you'll get on well with anyone. CLICK HERE to get your copy of Captivate. Whether you're a people's person or a little more reserved we think it's a great read for everyone.
Nationally recognized communication expert Debra Fine reveals the techniques and strategies anyone can use to make small talk in any situation. The Fine Art of Small Talk: How To Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills -- and Leave a Positive Impression! will help you learn to feel more comfortable in any type of social situation, from lunch with the boss to an association event to a cocktail party where you don't know anyone. We likeThe Fine Art of Small Talk because it has very detailed advice regarding speaking to people from starting a conversation, continuing a conversation, transitions, topics of conversation, etc. Overall the book is extremely helpful, especially for those who experience anxiety with social situations. CLICK HERE to get your copy from Book Depository.
In Get the Guy: Use the Secrets of the Male Mind to Find, Attract and Keep Your Ideal Man by Matthew Hussey- a clear, honest and practical plan of action is presented to teach women on how to go about finding their ideal partner - and, importantly, how to keep him. Using simple steps, Matthew guides us through the complex maze of modern dating and shows us just how to find the guy, get the guy, and keep the guy. Along the way, Matthew deconstructs some commonly held dating myths about what it is that men really want and shares his strategies on how women can take control of their love lives. Buy a copy of Get the Guy by CLICKING HERE.
Like Our Site? These Are the Resources We Recommend.
To build this site we used these highly recommended tried-and-tested tools:
We Trust Elegant Themes
The Elegant Themes membership gives you complete access to 87 amazing themes and 3 awesome plugins, including Divi, the ultimate WordPress Theme and Visual Page builder. Elegant Themes have been building the world's most popular WordPress themes for the past 10 years, and rest assured their products will always be improved and maintained.
We Build With Divi Theme
One of the most popular WordPress themes in the world. Building layouts is easy and fast, making it ideal to create mockups and wireframes, prototyping a design, and creating the website itself. Build from the frontend or backend. The builder is intuitive. It's easy to learn and can be used by non-developers to create amazing websites. Check out the official Divi Theme here.
We Customize With Divi Cake Plugins
Divi Cake’s main goal is to help the members of the Divi community find the perfect premium Divi themes, layouts, and plugins created by leading Divi developers and designers. Shop hundreds of premium Divi products like Divi child themes, Divi layouts, and Divi plugins on Divi Cake, the community driven Divi Marketplace. Find out more about Divi Cake here.
We ❤️Shutterstock Media
We get our images from the OG leader in stock assets. Boost your business with the right images. They're royalty-free and ready to use. Footage & Music Libraries. 4k Images Added per Hour. No Daily Download Limit. Speedy Search & Discovery. With flexible plans and countless amounts of premium content uploaded weekly, we couldn't leave Shutterstock off our list.
Skill-Up With LinkedIn Learning
When you want to enhance your professional skills with expert-led, online video tutorials, the only place to go is LinkedIn Learning (Lynda). With a subscription you get 24/7, unlimited access to over 13,000 business, design & tech online courses and with a free month. We like them because we get expert-led courses that we can access anytime, anywhere. What's not to love?
We're Hosted With SiteGround
SiteGround boasts a whole list of fantastic features at amazingly affordable prices. Along with multiple growth options, free site transfers and domains, built in Content Delivery Network integrations, WordPress support AND human support we wouldn't go to anyone else. They're basically faster, safer and more supportive- you can check them out here.
We Trust Grammarly Premium
Even seasoned writers need a helping hand at times, that’s why we trust Grammarly Premium. As the World's Most Accurate Online Grammar Checker, Grammarly Premium goes beyond grammar to help you ensure that everything you write is clear, engaging, and professional. Learn more about Grammarly Premium’s AI-powered assistant here.
Find Graphics With Creative Market
Creative Market is the world’s marketplace for design. Bring your creative projects to life with ready-to-use design assets from independent creators around the world. We love the unique finds, social media templates, vectors you name it they have it. I also doesn't hurt that our founder has a little store on there...