Never the Right Word

Never the Right Word

Scripts & Templates for Life’s Uncomfortable Conversations.

Contact & find out more.

Legal Information

NTRW is supported by adverts and affiliate marketing links. This means if you click a link or buy a product, we may earn a commission at no extra cost to you. Partnerships help fund this site. For more info, please see our Earnings Disclosure.
This site does not constitute as legal, mental, or medical health advice, please consult a competent licensed professional.

How to tell your friend to stop trying to set you up with someone you’ll NEVER be interested in.

First, let’s take a look at the bigger picture – friends who keep attempting to set you up with someone are coming from a place of love. While they’re in beautiful relationships, they want you to share the experience. It’s adorable when you think about it. With that said, why is it that most of us have that one friend who has terrible judgment of character? And why is it always that friend who thinks they’re qualified to find a suitable match for us?   

Maybe your friend’s choices aren’t so terrible at all- possibly they want to set you up with what society thinks we should all aspire to be with. Perhaps what society wants for you is not your cup of tea. You’re out there doing your thing and being pushed into dating at this time would kill your mojo- whatever the reason is, it’s totally fine to not be into what they want for you. 

If you’re tired of being set up with people that are clearly not a match for you, it does make you question your relationship with the person who told you to date them in the first place. You’re left thinking, “Is that what they really think of me?” or “Is that the kind of date they think is acceptable?” 

Sometimes you just need to say no- even when the person loves you, whether you want to avoid any potential weirdness between you and your mates, want to relieve yourself of the pressures of dating, or aren’t comfortable with the whole stupid thing. 

So how do you do that without insulting people? Simple, here’s 4 text excuses to politely decline your friends set up attempts and end them for once and for all. 

Text Excuse 1 | You Have Other Plans

 

Hey [Insert Name], I know you were trying to get me to go [Insert Activity] with [Insert Name] but I really wanted to try it with you instead…

Pivoting the conversation so your friend can’t finalise any details of your potential date might be enough to deter them. Distraction and deflection might not be the boldest method of interrupting plans, but if the conversation avoids the dating topic in general, your friend is likely to get distracted and drop their plans for you.  

Text Excuse 2 | You Are Set On What You Want Already

 

Whilst this person looks like a great guy/girl, truth is I’m looking for something different.

Whilst this person looks like a great guy/girl, I’ve got a lot going on at the moment which is going to make me a difficult person to date.

The absolute worst way to turn down a setup is to see a picture of the person and then declare they’re not your type. You’re basically saying the person is unattractive and coincidentally insulting your friend’s taste at the same time. Depending on the link between your potential match and your friend, you may wish to tread with caution. Instead of talking about the other person, focus on why the setup isn’t quite right for you.

Text Excuse 3 | You’re Not Over Your Ex

 

Hey [Name], thanks for the offer, but the truth is I’m still processing my feelings over [Insert Ex’s Name]. I think it’s best that I’m on my own whilst I sort myself out.

Usually telling your friends that you’re already seeing someone ends up in a barrage of questions- but you could still say you’re working on processing feelings left over from your previous relationship. Like all other things in life, lying is not the best way to get out of a setup, it usually comes back to bite you. If you do need to make a white lie, best thing to make it a loose version of the truth.

Illustrations courtesy of Shutterstock.

This article was originally published on https://nevertherightword.com. If this article appears on any other site other than https://nevertherightword.com without clear referencing it is a violation of the copyright owned by https://nevertherightword.com.

This article may contain affiliate links. That means if you click and buy a product, we may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. Never the Right Word is a participant in the Awin Affiliates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to participating merchants. For more information, please view our Privacy Policy and disclosure page.

Text Excuse 4 | You Like to Date Privately

 

Hey [Insert Name], I like to keep my dating life private until I’m sure about the future and ready to introduce the person to friends and family. Dating someone who is in the same circles as me is a little too close to home.

As much as our friends mean well, there are definitely moments when when you need to put your foot down. We’ve all been in situations where we’ve categorically told our friends “no” and they keeping pushing you into a date. In these instances, you’ll need set clear boundaries. Whatever reason you use, you have to be firm in declining the set up but this doesn’t mean you can’t be kind.

At the end of the day, your friend is only trying to set you up with someone because they want to see you happy and that’s a wonderful thing. Try not to get too frustrated with their tenacity or irritated at the prospects they’ve sent your way, even if you feel slightly insulted by the person they’ve picked for you. Make sure you tell your friend that you appreciate the thought, and you’re touched that they have decided to take action towards your happiness.

At Never the Right Word, our aim is to give you practical examples of how to handle life’s difficult conversations. If you have an awkward situation that you’d like example templates for, request a topic here.   

If you’re interested in further reading, we’ve also included links to our trusted resources and related posts below. To find out more about NTRW and our recommended tools, you can do that here.  

Lastly, if you found this content helpful or want to share your own examples, let us know in the comments. We’d also be delighted if you shared this article and joined us on social media too!

Never the Right Word

Never the Right Word

Hi there! I’m Amy, and I’m the person behind Never the Right Word. I’m a designer-by-day who’s fascinated by human psychology; you’ll find me learning about what makes others tick through all types of media and good old-fashioned conversation.

In 2019 Never the Right Word was born to fill the gap of ‘how-to’ websites with copy and paste examples showing you EXACTLY what you need to say to steer difficult conversations into positive outcomes.

Popular Articles...

Relevant Books We Recommend...

Not Nice

Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty... And Start Speaking Up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, And Unapologetically Being Yourself, world-renowned confidence expert, Dr. Aziz Gazipura, takes an incisive look at the concept of nice. Through his trademark style, Dr. Aziz uses engaging stories, humor, and disarming vulnerability to cut through people-pleasing conditioning and find the most authentic version of you. This book is for you if you want to discover how to easily say "no" to things when you need to or learn to confidently and effectively ask for what you want. You'll also be able to be more authentic in all of your relationships whilst eliminating any feelings of guilt and or fear about how others perceive you. CLICK HERE to get your copy of Not Nice.

The Science of Happily Ever After

In The Science of Happily Ever After: What Really Matters in the Quest for Enduring Love by acclaimed relationship psychologist Dr. Ty Tashiro the science behind how to choose a great mate to find enduring love is explored. Dr. Ty Tashiro's research pinpoints why our decision-making abilities seem to fail when it comes to choosing the right partner and how we can improve our decision-making skills. Dr. Tashiro has discovered that if you want a lifetime of happiness it all comes down to how you choose a partner in the first place- an insightful read for many. Get your copy of The Science of Happily Ever After by CLICKING HERE.

Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well (Paperback)

In Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well the world-renowned team behind the Harvard Negotiation Project offers a simple framework with powerful tools to demonstrate how we can extract the best results out of our feedback. We particularly like this book for the abundance of practical takeaways which reveal why receiving feedback is usually tricky and uncomfortable and how we can combat these fears in order to become the best versions of ourselves. You can get your copy of Thanks for the Feedback by CLICKING HERE.

Get the Guy

In Get the Guy: Use the Secrets of the Male Mind to Find, Attract and Keep Your Ideal Man by Matthew Hussey- a clear, honest and practical plan of action is presented to teach women on how to go about finding their ideal partner - and, importantly, how to keep him. Using simple steps, Matthew guides us through the complex maze of modern dating and shows us just how to find the guy, get the guy, and keep the guy. Along the way, Matthew deconstructs some commonly held dating myths about what it is that men really want and shares his strategies on how women can take control of their love lives. Buy a copy of Get the Guy by CLICKING HERE.

Pin Never the Right Word on Pinterest!

Like Our Site? These Are the Resources We Recommend.

To build this site we used these highly recommended tried-and-tested tools:

We Trust Elegant Themes

The Elegant Themes membership gives you complete access to 87 amazing themes and 3 awesome plugins, including Divi, the ultimate WordPress Theme and Visual Page builder. Elegant Themes have been building the world's most popular WordPress themes for the past 10 years, and rest assured their products will always be improved and maintained. 

Divi WordPress Theme

We Build With Divi Theme

One of the most popular WordPress themes in the world. Building layouts is easy and fast, making it ideal to create mockups and wireframes, prototyping a design, and creating the website itself. Build from the frontend or backend. The builder is intuitive. It's easy to learn and can be used by non-developers to create amazing websites. Check out the official Divi Theme here.

Divi Cake is a community driven marketplace for Divi Child Themes, Builder Layouts, and Plugins - Shop Now!

We Customize With Divi Cake Plugins

Divi Cake’s main goal is to help the members of the Divi community find the perfect premium Divi themes, layouts, and plugins created by leading Divi developers and designers. Shop hundreds of premium Divi products like Divi child themes, Divi layouts, and Divi plugins on Divi Cake, the community driven Divi Marketplace. Find out more about Divi Cake here.

We ❤️Shutterstock Media

We get our images from the OG leader in stock assets. Boost your business with the right images. They're royalty-free and ready to use. Footage & Music Libraries. 4k Images Added per Hour. No Daily Download Limit. Speedy Search & Discovery. With flexible plans and countless amounts of premium content uploaded weekly, we couldn't leave Shutterstock off our list.

Skill-Up With LinkedIn Learning

When you want to enhance your professional skills with expert-led, online video tutorials, the only place to go is LinkedIn Learning (Lynda). With a subscription you get 24/7, unlimited access to over 13,000 business, design & tech online courses and with a free month. We like them because we get expert-led courses that we can access anytime, anywhere. What's not to love?

Web Hosting

We're Hosted With SiteGround

SiteGround boasts a whole list of fantastic features at amazingly affordable prices. Along with multiple growth options, free site transfers and domains, built in Content Delivery Network integrations, WordPress support AND human support we wouldn't go to anyone else. They're basically faster, safer and more supportive- you can check them out here.

We Trust Grammarly Premium

Even seasoned writers need a helping hand at times, that’s why we trust Grammarly Premium. As the World's Most Accurate Online Grammar Checker, Grammarly Premium goes beyond grammar to help you ensure that everything you write is clear, engaging, and professional. Learn more about Grammarly Premium’s AI-powered assistant here.

Find Graphics With Creative Market

Creative Market is the world’s marketplace for design. Bring your creative projects to life with ready-to-use design assets from independent creators around the world. We love the unique finds, social media templates, vectors you name it they have it. I also doesn't hurt that our founder has a little store on there...

Powered by Creative Market

Powered by Creative Market

Contact Us

Email Us

Never the Right Word
Building 19475
PO Box 6945
London
W1A 6US
United Kingdom

Follow NTRW

Support NTRW

Become a Patron!
Donate to Never the Right Word and keep us accessible to all. Thank you!

Stay in the Loop

error: Content is protected !!

Pin It on Pinterest