Never the Right Word

Never the Right Word

Scripts & Templates for Life’s Uncomfortable Conversations.

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It can be difficult to handle rejection; whether it’s a blunt response or a subtler form, it can be difficult not to take things personally. It’s funny because when we find ourselves not desperately in need of something we’ll likely find ourselves in possession of it. When we respond to rejections in a friendly, classy and dignified manner; we immediately project a high-value image and that to most, is irresistible. What you choose to say and do after you’ve been told no literally has the power to change the other person’s perception of you. That’s why we’ve listed 3 über classy scripts to use when someone rejects you that may actually change the person’s mind in this article.

The scripts are listed below but first- here’s something thing to keep in mind…

We all get rejected at some point in our lives and that’s actually a good thing. If you look back at past instances you might be able to think of more than a few times where a rejection saved you from wasting copious amounts of time and energy on something that ultimately wasn’t the best for you. Many of us experience visceral reactions to not getting what we want at the time but if we can finesse how we handle rejections and keep a sense of proportion on things we might just find positive outcomes emerging out of seemingly negative situations.

If not handled correctly, rejection can put a strain on our other relationships and even affect the relationship we have with ourselves. Fortunately, getting knocked back doesn’t have to be the end of the world. If you catch yourself feeling down about being rejected it’s important to remember that there are many reasons why someone may have declined your invitation – many of which have nothing to do with you a person.

Give the other person the benefit of the doubt…

Most of us make decisions based on fleeting emotions and socially reinforced ideals that if we don’t take the time to observe from an objective standpoint can cause us to pass on opportunities that we might want in the future.There are ways to convince someone who rejected you to at least give you a second thought, and although it’s important to not force yourself on someone, it’s often still worth it to reach out one last time in a respectful way. Just remember that whatever happens – you’re still a catch.

Script 1 | Change Someone’s Mind by Setting the Record Straight

 

[Insert Name], I wanted to clear up what I meant [yesterday/a week ago/other time frame].
I wasn’t asking you to [have me over at your place/go to a bad part of town]; I was suggesting we could [spend time at mine, or a friend’s place/go to a specific branch of a restaurant in a nice part of town].
Sorry for the confusion, [I was doing too many things at once/ autocorrect threw me under the bus!].
[Insert Your Name].

It’s important to phrase the clarification not as an offer, but as a correction. You’ve already made some kind of offer that the person has rejected; this is your chance to make sure they know what you actually want to do.

To make this type of message work, you have to consider why you might have been turned down, locate obvious flaws or chances of miscommunication, and correct them.

If the person who rejected you lives ten minutes from one movie theatre and two hours from another, make sure they know you were inviting them to the former.

Who does this work for?

Just about anyone, regardless of gender, can appreciate receiving a letter like this, and it might actually change that person’s mind, too. But it’s important to keep in mind the caveats below; don’t try to clarify what the other person already sees clearly.

Where does this work?

This approach works best by far if you believe that you miscommunicated with the other person previously, either in person or somewhere else. It’s important, however, to remember that. If you find yourself using this template, think hard about how much of what you’re saying to the other person is truly new.

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Script 2 | Change Someone’s Mind by Offering Another Invitation

 

I understand. Would you maybe be interested in a movie night at [friend]’s apartment instead?
She’s having me over to watch [movie] already, and I bet she’d enjoy your company.

or…

That’s a shame- don’t suppose you know anyone who would like to go with me to [Insert activity you know this person would love to do].

This message works well when you have mutual friends or mutual interests. It helps to center the message on the other person’s interests, or that of a mutual friend, as well. It’s useful to remember that acting casual and treating rejection as normal and acceptable is a key part of handling any rejection.

You don’t have to know how to not care what people think, though it helps; you just need to act naturally.

Who does this work for?

If used correctly, this sort of message works with anyone. In many cases, however, you’ll end up using stronger phrasing, and that means it’s a better example of how to deal with rejection from men, who will generally be less worried about people imposing on them.

Where does this work?

As stated above, this letter works well when you can approach the invitation from another angle: working together on a project, for example.

Script 3 | Change Someone’s Mind by Demonstrating Graceful Acceptance

 

That’s totally fine. Thanks for being honest, and responding! How’ve you been, though?
No worries you prefer wine and I’m more of a scotch person. Thanks for keeping it honest- even if you do have terrible taste in drinks!
Hey [Name], I wanted to say thanks for a being such a great date the other night. Even though you’ve expressed you don’t want to take things further I want to let know how much I enjoyed. I don’t date much but I’m planning to- perhaps you could give me a few pointers?

You’ll want to use this type of message when a rejection is obvious, and not due to the other person’s schedule, problems with their work, or the like.

If you’re feeling courageous, it can be worth picking up a previous conversation you’ve had with that person, or asking how they’ve been more generally.

Sometimes the most effective way to accept rejection is to do stoically, though; as such, you might also consider waiting until time has passed.

Who does this work for?

This type of message, on the other hand, is a good example of how to deal with rejection from women. Respecting their boundaries means that they’re likely to be more actively receptive to your invitations in the future.

Where does this work?

This type of message is fairly low risk, and low reward: it’s most likely to work with more shy or careful people who wouldn’t respond well to one of the above examples.

And there you have it: 3 über classy scripts to use when someone rejects you that may actually change the person’s mind.

While tailoring your approach to the person who rejected you is often key, it’s also important that you phrase what you say in a way that leaves a second rejection open as an option to the other person. This way, you respect their boundaries, and they’re likely to appreciate that.

Sending a follow-up message is, of course, by no means the only way to deal with rejection.

Getting to place where you aren’t attached to a certain outcome will benefit you in many areas of life. It’s also worth remembering that not everyone is going to reject you: and there’s someone else out there who would love to accept you.

The most important thing in sending any of these messages is to be considerate: understand what you said, and understand the person who rejected you.

It’s important to be emotionally honest and sensitive, even in the face of rejection, and it’ll help you in your future interactions with that person, whether or not they change their mind.

At Never the Right Word, our aim is to give you practical examples of how to handle life’s difficult conversations. If you have an awkward situation that you’d like example templates for, request a topic here.   

If you’re interested in further reading, we’ve also included links to our trusted resources and related posts below. To find out more about NTRW and our recommended tools, you can do that here.  

Lastly, if you found this content helpful or want to share your own examples, let us know in the comments. We’d also be delighted if you shared this article and joined us on social media too!

Never the Right Word

Never the Right Word

Hi there! I’m Amy, and I’m the person behind Never the Right Word. I’m a designer-by-day who’s fascinated by human psychology; you’ll find me learning about what makes others tick through all types of media and good old-fashioned conversation.

In 2019 Never the Right Word was born to fill the gap of ‘how-to’ websites with copy and paste examples showing you EXACTLY what you need to say to steer difficult conversations into positive outcomes.

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