Never the Right Word

Never the Right Word

Scripts & Templates for Life’s Uncomfortable Conversations.

Contact & find out more.

Legal Information

NTRW is supported by adverts and affiliate marketing links. This means if you click a link or buy a product, we may earn a commission at no extra cost to you. Partnerships help fund this site. For more info, please see our Earnings Disclosure.
This site does not constitute as legal, mental, or medical health advice, please consult a competent licensed professional.

It should be one of the happiest times in your life, but deep down you feel a faint pulse of panic in the pit of your stomach knowing you’re not 100% sure you want to marry your partner.

You do not ever want to consider yourself married to them, and despite whatever the amount of time you’ve spent with them, you still have doubts that you can happily spend the rest of your life with them. 

Rather than get married with uncertainty, leading them on in the process, only to break their heart later on with a divorce; you decide that it’s best to lessen the pain by bravely letting your partner know you do not want to marry them.

Whilst conversations of this nature are best had in person, sometimes using writing to express the complex feelings felt during pivotal times in our lives can be both effective and cathartic.

In this instance, telling your partner you do not want to get married in this way gives you and your partner the opportunity to share and process the information in your own time and space. You can then have a discussion or make a decision from there.

Being bold enough to reject a marital proposal to someone you have been involved with for a long time is hard. How do you even start telling someone that you love them so much but cannot imagine a future with them? 

Below are some effective but sensitive templates that can help you get started in getting your message across:

Illustrations courtesy of Shutterstock.

Message Template 1 | “I Want to Look Back One Day, at the Moments We Spent Together and Smile”

 

Dear [Insert Name],
We’ve been talking for a while about our relationship and where it is heading, and I’ve been giving this a lot of thought, as I’m sure you have too. I don’t want to hurt you, which is why I need to tell you now that I cannot marry you.
You mean so much to me, but I am not ready to settle down. Who knows what the future will bring, and perhaps when you read this message, you’ll want to find someone new, someone who is ready to commit to marriage with you. By telling you this now, at least we have the chance to remain friends, and to look back at the happy times we’ve shared.
I hope you understand that I’m telling you this now, to protect us both from doing something that would ultimately make us unhappy.
[Insert Your Name]

Use this template to make your partner know that despite breaking their heart, you want to do the right thing for you both. You may still want to continue in a relationship with them, just not marry them, so it’s important not to suggest ending the relationship if that’s not what you want.

MessageTemplate 2 | “No Matter How Selfish You Think I Am, the Truth Is That I Am Not Ready to Let Go of Single Me”

 

Dear [Insert Name],
You asked me last night to marry you, and this came as such a surprise that I asked you if I could think about it before replying. I’ve been thinking of nothing else since we spoke, and I want to tell you how I feel now, so that you aren’t left waiting for an answer.
You mean so much to me, and I love spending time with you. The truth is, though, that I am simply not the settling down type, so it would be wrong of me to accept your proposal. I like how my life is at the moment, and I don’t think I’m cut out to be married – it would make both of us unhappy in the long term, I think.
I’m sorry that I can’t give you what you want through marriage, but I hope you can understand that it’s better to talk about this now, than go through with a marriage that one of us doesn’t want.
[Insert Your Name]

This template lays all of the responsibility for the decision at your door, and your partner does not have to feel like they were the one who was in the wrong. When you take the blame and portray yourself in a bad light, you make the other person feel better about themselves, knowing that they tried.

Illustrations courtesy of Shutterstock.

This article was originally published on https://nevertherightword.com. If this article appears on any other site other than https://nevertherightword.com without clear referencing it is a violation of the copyright owned by https://nevertherightword.com.

This article may contain affiliate links. That means if you click and buy a product, we may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. Never the Right Word is a participant in the Awin Affiliates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to participating merchants. For more information, please view our Privacy Policy and disclosure page.

Message Template 3 | “Reach Out to Happiness. Let Go of Better and Move On With the Best”

 

Dear [Insert Name]
We’ve been together for quite a long time now, and I think we’ve both been thinking about our relationship recently. I know that you want to take it to the next step, getting married and settling down together.
It’s not easy to say this, but I am not the right person for you to marry, and I think you should move on and find someone else. You deserve someone who can commit to marriage and who can give you the same love and respect that you have to give.
We have had some great times together, but you deserve so much more than I can offer. I hope that one day you’ll look back and see that this decision was the right one. I know that will always remember you and the times we had together.
[Insert Your Name]

This message is best suited to the situation where a marriage proposal, or the hint of a proposal to come, has made you realize that you want to end the relationship completely. It’s phrased to give the impression that you are letting your partner go, to find that special person that they deserve. By painting yourself as not good enough, you are helping your partner see that they are not to blame.

It’s important to remember that relationships are unique to the individuals involved, and as long as both parties are openly communicating there is no wrong or right way to go about them. It’s entirely possible and acceptable to love someone and still decide that marriage is not the right best course of action. You may feel incredibly loved by your fiancé and also feel like marriage just isn’t for you.  

Successful marriages are about more than love. There are many aspects of married life to take into account such as finances, having children, career aspirations, well-being, and individual fulfillment. It’s tricky if you can’t immediately identify the cause of that nagging feeling you have, but in these kinds of situations, many people will tell you it’s best to follow your intuition. Eventually, more often than not, the events in your life will make sense to you when the time is right. 

At Never the Right Word, our aim is to give you practical examples of how to handle life’s difficult conversations. If you have an awkward situation that you’d like example templates for, request a topic here.   

If you’re interested in further reading, we’ve also included links to our trusted resources and related posts below. To find out more about NTRW and our recommended tools, you can do that here.  

Lastly, if you found this content helpful or want to share your own examples, let us know in the comments. We’d also be delighted if you shared this article and joined us on social media too!

Never the Right Word

Never the Right Word

Hi there! I’m Amy, and I’m the person behind Never the Right Word. I’m a designer-by-day who’s fascinated by human psychology; you’ll find me learning about what makes others tick through all types of media and good old-fashioned conversation.

In 2019 Never the Right Word was born to fill the gap of ‘how-to’ websites with copy and paste examples showing you EXACTLY what you need to say to steer difficult conversations into positive outcomes.

Popular Articles...

Relevant Books We Recommend...

Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You (Paperback)

In Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You, by author Susan Elliott you'll be taught how to energy back where it belongs to you. Through Elliott's workshops and popular blog, she has helped thousands of people transform their love lives for the better. You'll be taught the rules of disengagement: how and why you should go "no contact" with your ex. You'll be shown how to work through grief, move past fear, and take back control over your life. You'll learn the secret to breaking the pattern of failed relationships and what to do when you can't stop thinking about your ex. Buy your copy of Getting Past Your Breakup by CLICKING HERE.

I Can Mend Your Broken Heart (Paperback)

In I Can Mend Your Broken Heart, world-famous hypnotist Paul McKenna, Ph.D. joined by psychotherapist Dr. Hugh Willbourn teach readers how to cope with mourning the of a loss of a relationship. I Can Mend Your Broken Heart is packed with simple, highly effective techniques that are designed to speed up the healing process for the heart-broken and bring about lasting emotional relief. This book is a must-read for anyone struggling with the thoughts and feelings that accompany a breakup. You can get your copy of I Can Mend Your Broken Heart by CLICKING HERE.

In Transcending Post-infidelity Stress Disorder (PISD): The Six Stages of Healing by author Dennis C. Ortman, the phrase "broken heart" belies the real trauma behind the unfortunate occurrence of cheating in intimate relationships. Using PTSD treatment as a model, Dr. Ortman will show you, step by step, how to work through conflicting emotions; whilst understanding yourself and your partner and make important life decisions. We like the practical elements this book has to offer and believe this book will be highly beneficial for those suffering the effects of infidelity. CLICK HERE to get your copy.

Not Nice

Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty... And Start Speaking Up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, And Unapologetically Being Yourself, world-renowned confidence expert, Dr. Aziz Gazipura, takes an incisive look at the concept of nice. Through his trademark style, Dr. Aziz uses engaging stories, humor, and disarming vulnerability to cut through people-pleasing conditioning and find the most authentic version of you. This book is for you if you want to discover how to easily say "no" to things when you need to or learn to confidently and effectively ask for what you want. You'll also be able to be more authentic in all of your relationships whilst eliminating any feelings of guilt and or fear about how others perceive you. CLICK HERE to get your copy of Not Nice.

Pin Never the Right Word on Pinterest!

Like Our Site? These Are the Resources We Recommend.

To build this site we used these highly recommended tried-and-tested tools:

We Trust Elegant Themes

The Elegant Themes membership gives you complete access to 87 amazing themes and 3 awesome plugins, including Divi, the ultimate WordPress Theme and Visual Page builder. Elegant Themes have been building the world's most popular WordPress themes for the past 10 years, and rest assured their products will always be improved and maintained. 

Divi WordPress Theme

We Build With Divi Theme

One of the most popular WordPress themes in the world. Building layouts is easy and fast, making it ideal to create mockups and wireframes, prototyping a design, and creating the website itself. Build from the frontend or backend. The builder is intuitive. It's easy to learn and can be used by non-developers to create amazing websites. Check out the official Divi Theme here.

Divi Cake is a community driven marketplace for Divi Child Themes, Builder Layouts, and Plugins - Shop Now!

We Customize With Divi Cake Plugins

Divi Cake’s main goal is to help the members of the Divi community find the perfect premium Divi themes, layouts, and plugins created by leading Divi developers and designers. Shop hundreds of premium Divi products like Divi child themes, Divi layouts, and Divi plugins on Divi Cake, the community driven Divi Marketplace. Find out more about Divi Cake here.

We ❤️Shutterstock Media

We get our images from the OG leader in stock assets. Boost your business with the right images. They're royalty-free and ready to use. Footage & Music Libraries. 4k Images Added per Hour. No Daily Download Limit. Speedy Search & Discovery. With flexible plans and countless amounts of premium content uploaded weekly, we couldn't leave Shutterstock off our list.

Skill-Up With LinkedIn Learning

When you want to enhance your professional skills with expert-led, online video tutorials, the only place to go is LinkedIn Learning (Lynda). With a subscription you get 24/7, unlimited access to over 13,000 business, design & tech online courses and with a free month. We like them because we get expert-led courses that we can access anytime, anywhere. What's not to love?

Web Hosting

We're Hosted With SiteGround

SiteGround boasts a whole list of fantastic features at amazingly affordable prices. Along with multiple growth options, free site transfers and domains, built in Content Delivery Network integrations, WordPress support AND human support we wouldn't go to anyone else. They're basically faster, safer and more supportive- you can check them out here.

We Trust Grammarly Premium

Even seasoned writers need a helping hand at times, that’s why we trust Grammarly Premium. As the World's Most Accurate Online Grammar Checker, Grammarly Premium goes beyond grammar to help you ensure that everything you write is clear, engaging, and professional. Learn more about Grammarly Premium’s AI-powered assistant here.

Find Graphics With Creative Market

Creative Market is the world’s marketplace for design. Bring your creative projects to life with ready-to-use design assets from independent creators around the world. We love the unique finds, social media templates, vectors you name it they have it. I also doesn't hurt that our founder has a little store on there...

Powered by Creative Market

Powered by Creative Market

Contact Us

Email Us

Never the Right Word
Building 19475
PO Box 6945
London
W1A 6US
United Kingdom

Follow NTRW

Support NTRW

Become a Patron!
Donate to Never the Right Word and keep us accessible to all. Thank you!

Stay in the Loop

error: Content is protected !!

Pin It on Pinterest