Never the Right Word

Never the Right Word

Scripts & Templates for Life’s Uncomfortable Conversations.

Contact & find out more.

LEGAL INFORMATION

NTRW is supported by adverts and affiliate marketing links. This means if you click a link or buy a product, we may earn a commission at no extra cost to you. Partnerships help fund this site. For more info, please see our Earnings Disclosure.
This site does not constitute as legal, mental, or medical health advice, please consult a competent licensed professional.

Uninviting somebody from your wedding is likely to sever ties with that person for good. Extending an invitation to such a major life event, and then revoking it, sends a clear message that you want to end your relationship with the person in question.

That’s why before you take further action, it’s best that you consider whether what you’re about to do is worth dealing with the consequences. Generally, uninviting a guest to your wedding is seen as poor form and subsequently may not paint you in the best light.

That said, sometimes a dramatic argument or a traumatic experience is more than enough to validate disinviting somebody from your wedding. Not every disagreement is one that can easily be forgiven and if you feel that your wedding day would be spoilt by the presence of this guest or the circumstances, then uninviting this person may be your only option.

From another perspective, perhaps you got carried away with the whirlwind wedding preparations only to find out that your number of guests greatly exceeds your budget and now you have no choice but to cut said list down. The horror. So how do you do you get started doing it?

As you can imagine, the situation can be extremely tricky to navigate. On the one hand, it’s recommended that you never disinvite someone from your wedding via a text or email and instead opt for a phone call or a discussion in person.

However, if you simply can’t meet in person or are too angry to talk over the phone here’s where the following 3 letter templates may come in handy…

Letter 1 | Blame the Venue!

 

Dear Mrs/Mr X I really hope you’ve been well! I’m writing to you today with some deeply unfortunate news.
Our wedding venue has recently reached out to let us know that they’ve allowed us to overbook on the big day. We’ve been told that we need to significantly reduce our guest list or risk having the wedding cancelled and potentially losing our deposit, which is why we’ve had to send this letter.
We are deeply sorry, as we were really looking forward to sharing our special day with you. We hope that you understand the reasons behind this, and that we can see you very soon.
All the best,
[Your name]

Uninviting somebody from your wedding is an extremely difficult task. Sometimes, it is inevitable and completely non-personal, though it can still have a lasting or damaging effect on the relationship between yourself and the would-be attendee. If you’ve recently realised that you do NEED to uninvite someone from your wedding, though, one of the best ways to do so is simply by blaming the venue.

This is a guiltless and non-personal way of asking someone to not attend your wedding, meaning that it is less likely to cause any further conflict. It also allows you to provide a justified reason to ask someone to not attend, which could help to alleviate any pre-existing built-up tension.

One great advantage of using this letter is that it allows you to keep things diplomatic between everyone involved. Your guest should completely understand the reasoning behind asking them to not attend.

It is hugely important to express your regret and concern over your previous invitee’s non-attendance to make it feel like you are genuinely remorseful; this will act as a form of ‘damage control’, reassuring your friend that the decision to uninvite them was NOT a personal one.

If the attendee is familiar with the wedding venue, it might not be best to use this script. Instead, why not try using a forgotten family member as a last-minute get-out clause?

Letter 2 | The Family Clause

 

Dear Mrs/Mr X
How have you been? I look forward to meeting with you soon.
As you’re aware, myself and [partner’s name] are due to tie the knot. Unfortunately, there have been some major complications with the guest list.
It’s become apparent that we’ve forgotten to invite [important family member], and it would ruin the day if they were not present. In order to accommodate them, we will need to shorten our guest list.
It was an incredibly difficult decision, but we will have to ask you to not attend the wedding. I really hope you understand the reasons for our decision.
Please feel free to get in touch whenever you wish, I would love to have a catch-up.
All the best,
[Your name]

We all know that family comes first!

This script works incredibly well if both you and your partner have large families; it can be difficult to keep count of which distant relatives, in-laws, step-siblings, aunts and uncles have already been invited. It isn’t uncommon for certain details to slip the mind…

Your family will likely be a HUGE part of your life, and as such, will be thrilled at the opportunity to attend your wedding! Your guests should understand the importance of your relatives being present on the big day, so they should completely understand why they are being asked not to come.

This template remains polite and tactful, encouraging you to maintain an ongoing relationship with the invitee. By asking them to meet soon, and by reminding them that they can contact you whenever they want, you’re reinforcing the idea that you don’t want this to be the end of your relationship.

It’s incredibly important to stress how difficult the decision was to make; you don’t want your guest to feel as if they were an easy choice of person to uninvite. By playing on the guilt you feel towards having to send the letter, you can reassure the invitee that their presence will be missed.

Illustrations courtesy of Shutterstock.

This article was originally published on https://nevertherightword.com. If this article appears on any other site other than https://nevertherightword.com without clear referencing it is a violation of the copyright owned by https://nevertherightword.com.

This article may contain affiliate links. That means if you click and buy a product, we may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. Never the Right Word is a participant in the Awin Affiliates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to participating merchants. For more information, please view our Privacy Policy and disclosure page.

Letter 3 | Be Honest (if it’s a personal issue)

 

Dear Mrs/Mr X
I’m writing to you today to ask that you not attend our wedding on the [date]. It is incredibly difficult to do this, but it’s important for you to understand why.
Due to your recent conduct, in which you [explain reasons], myself and [partner] have agreed that it would be inappropriate for you to be in attendance.
Again, I’d like to express my apologies, and I hope we can catch up soon.
Regards,
[Your name]

Sometimes you might feel as if you have absolutely no choice but to uninvite someone from your wedding. This could be down to a variety of things – from massive, nasty arguments down to criminal convictions. At the end of the day, if you’d feel more comfortable if a guest were to not attend, that’s your choice. It’s your big day, after all!

If somebody has upset you to the point that you no longer wish for them to attend your wedding, you should let them know exactly why. They could be oblivious towards the fact that they’ve upset you, which might mean they could possibly do the same thing again in the future.

This template is a great way to let your invitee know exactly why you would prefer them to stay at home. It can be adaptable to any reason, making it a versatile response to nearly any scenario.

One reason to use this letter template is that it allows you to directly explain, in no uncertain terms, that this is entirely down to their own actions, which could significantly reduce the following fallout. You also let them know that it would be inappropriate for them to attend, implying that more people would be upset if they were to ignore the letter and attend the wedding anyway.

Despite the fact that you’re asking an invitee to refrain from attending, you should still make an effort to be apologetic. If you tell them that it was a difficult decision to make, they will understand that a great deal of thought went into the decision.

 

At Never the Right Word, our aim is to give you practical examples of how to handle life’s difficult conversations. If you have an awkward situation that you’d like example templates for, request a topic here.   

If you’re interested in further reading, we’ve also included links to our trusted resources and related posts below. To find out more about NTRW and our recommended tools, you can do that here.  

Lastly, if you found this content helpful or want to share your own examples, let us know in the comments. We’d also be delighted if you shared this article and joined us on social media too!

Never the Right Word

Never the Right Word

Hi there! I’m Amy, and I’m the person behind Never the Right Word. I’m a designer-by-day who’s fascinated by human psychology; you’ll find me learning about what makes others tick through all types of media and good old-fashioned conversation.

In 2019 Never the Right Word was born to fill the gap of ‘how-to’ websites with copy and paste examples showing you EXACTLY what you need to say to steer difficult conversations into positive outcomes.

Popular Articles...

Relevant Books We Recommend...

Difficult Conversations

In Difficult Conversations: What to say in tricky situations without ruining the relationship; author Anne Dickson describes a range of difficult conversations that frequently occur in intimate, social, and work situations, and reveals simple but powerful techniques that will help you to transform the scenario. You'll discover how to communicate directly and honestly - without causing friction with those close to you. We love that this book offers 'real-life' examples and links to strategic and high impact negotiations. To get this book from Book Depository please CLICK HERE.

Not Nice

Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty... And Start Speaking Up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, And Unapologetically Being Yourself, world-renowned confidence expert, Dr. Aziz Gazipura, takes an incisive look at the concept of nice. Through his trademark style, Dr. Aziz uses engaging stories, humor, and disarming vulnerability to cut through people-pleasing conditioning and find the most authentic version of you. This book is for you if you want to discover how to easily say "no" to things when you need to or learn to confidently and effectively ask for what you want. You'll also be able to be more authentic in all of your relationships whilst eliminating any feelings of guilt and or fear about how others perceive you. CLICK HERE to get your copy of Not Nice.

How To Kill A Narcissist

In How To Kill A Narcissist: Debunking The Myth Of Narcissism And Recovering From Narcissistic Abuse, author JH Simon discusses how narcissism creates a set of thought processes, behaviors, and paradigms in its victim which must be changed from the inside. This is a book with two aims: to get clear on accurately identifying a narcissistic personality so it can be detected before something insidious takes place and (should you fall victim) present you with an inside-out strategy for healing, recovery, and freedom. This book is written to give control back the victims of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. CLICK HERE to get your copy.

If there was a book perfect to go alongside this website THIS would be it. In Delivering Bad News in Good Ways: Turn Difficult Conversations into Purposeful Dialogue,  author Alison H. Sigmon, M.Ed., PMP gives project managers a practical, easily applied method for quickly evaluating and effectively responding to the need to deliver unwelcome news appropriately. What we enjoyed most about this book was how each chapter begins with a relatable (and very often hilarious) real-life example with quotes, followed by a concise 3-step solution; Separate, Evaluate, and Deliver. CLICK HERE to get your copy.

Pin Never the Right Word on Pinterest!

Like Our Site? These Are the Resources We Recommend.

To build this site we used these highly recommended tried-and-tested tools:

We Trust Elegant Themes

The Elegant Themes membership gives you complete access to 87 amazing themes and 3 awesome plugins, including Divi, the ultimate WordPress Theme and Visual Page builder. Elegant Themes have been building the world's most popular WordPress themes for the past 10 years, and rest assured their products will always be improved and maintained. 

Divi WordPress Theme

We Build With Divi Theme

One of the most popular WordPress themes in the world. Building layouts is easy and fast, making it ideal to create mockups and wireframes, prototyping a design, and creating the website itself. Build from the frontend or backend. The builder is intuitive. It's easy to learn and can be used by non-developers to create amazing websites. Check out the official Divi Theme here.

Divi Cake is a community driven marketplace for Divi Child Themes, Builder Layouts, and Plugins - Shop Now!

We Customize With Divi Cake Plugins

Divi Cake’s main goal is to help the members of the Divi community find the perfect premium Divi themes, layouts, and plugins created by leading Divi developers and designers. Shop hundreds of premium Divi products like Divi child themes, Divi layouts, and Divi plugins on Divi Cake, the community driven Divi Marketplace. Find out more about Divi Cake here.

We ❤️Shutterstock Media

We get our images from the OG leader in stock assets. Boost your business with the right images. They're royalty-free and ready to use. Footage & Music Libraries. 4k Images Added per Hour. No Daily Download Limit. Speedy Search & Discovery. With flexible plans and countless amounts of premium content uploaded weekly, we couldn't leave Shutterstock off our list.

Skill-Up With LinkedIn Learning

When you want to enhance your professional skills with expert-led, online video tutorials, the only place to go is LinkedIn Learning (Lynda). With a subscription you get 24/7, unlimited access to over 13,000 business, design & tech online courses and with a free month. We like them because we get expert-led courses that we can access anytime, anywhere. What's not to love?

Web Hosting

We're Hosted With SiteGround

SiteGround boasts a whole list of fantastic features at amazingly affordable prices. Along with multiple growth options, free site transfers and domains, built in Content Delivery Network integrations, WordPress support AND human support we wouldn't go to anyone else. They're basically faster, safer and more supportive- you can check them out here.

We Trust Grammarly Premium

Even seasoned writers need a helping hand at times, that’s why we trust Grammarly Premium. As the World's Most Accurate Online Grammar Checker, Grammarly Premium goes beyond grammar to help you ensure that everything you write is clear, engaging, and professional. Learn more about Grammarly Premium’s AI-powered assistant here.

Find Graphics With Creative Market

Creative Market is the world’s marketplace for design. Bring your creative projects to life with ready-to-use design assets from independent creators around the world. We love the unique finds, social media templates, vectors you name it they have it. I also doesn't hurt that our founder has a little store on there...

Powered by Creative Market

Powered by Creative Market

Contact Us

Email Us

Never the Right Word
Building 19475
PO Box 6945
London
W1A 6US
United Kingdom

Follow NTRW

Support NTRW

Become a Patron!
Donate to Never the Right Word and keep us accessible to all. Thank you!

Stay in the Loop

error: Content is protected !!

Pin It on Pinterest